I am sad....my baby decided to wean so early

She is about 11 mo...
It was just like every other day...
It was Thursday we decided to head to home town...
Baby had a mild fever and cold...normal la takkan BF tak kena sakit.
Nah, she's gonna be OK tomorrow...She's a BF baby...antibody tip top. Was (sob sob sob).

It was just out of a sudden, I dunno what happened...my body odor? Milk not tasty? Slow mo?...she rejected me. She refuses my B.....I tried for days....as usual la. But she cried every time i offered my B. Turning her head away and her hand pushing my B away....as I am not ready to wean, I feel sad. Still feeling sad right now....normally me is the one who decided not to BF anymore it's time to let me go.

Yeah I m hurting. You know la what will happen if suddenly baby won't feed...so uncomfy!!!
Since it happened at my hometown, No pump.I rushed to tesco looking for the cheapest manual pump. I thought I never has to pump and feel like a cow anymore. But who knows it not my call to decide...it's Allah call.

I told hubby, he said maybe it's time to let go....just bottle fed her. It's easier.
But it's not 2 years yet..still not complete. Still a long way to go.

I feel like should i enjoy my freedom now?...or keep pumping maybe she will BF again. I don't know.
Now just use formula. Luckily I brought FM to hometown. I always mix her porridge with FM so it tastes better...

Maybe it's ok to just wean now....no more trouble weaning in toddlerhood. They said should wean in babyhood.

Maybe I always said (niat) when I was pregnant to her that I wanted to wean her before her 1st birthday and now my wish is granted....Alhamdulillah?

Harini terasa sentap

Mungkin aku over sensitif kot.
You know lah kan aku ni...ouswipe aka sahm or wahm or i dunno what.
Eventho u buka kedai ke you still ouswipe la sebab takda pendapatan masuk exact dalam bank bulan bulan dan u pon flexi....jaga anak nombo 1 yang lain tolak tepi kan....
Tapi life still hectic la...sama kot tak semestinya i ouswipe i tak boleh komplen betapa sibuknya kerjaya i yang takda gaji ni uruskan anak ....
Bila i cerita, Terus dibanding kehidupan i dengan kehidupann seorang lagi yang ada kerjaya yang sama gak uruskan anak....(tapi dia ada tukang gaji)....
Sentap la....

Rupanya mak aku yang menyentapkan aku...

Rasa cam rendahnya plak....

Sedihnya rasa....

Pilu....

Or

Maybe i over sentitip....

Maklumla asyik2 balik kampung....cam takde kije nak buat...
Minggu ni rasa cam takmau balik kampung tapi bila dikenangkan lepas ni ntah bila boleh balik, pederas pi la walau baby tak sihat...nasib dia tak gheyau tengah hiway.
Rasa cam esok nak pederas balik kulim balik....dahla sentap tengok mak marah anak2 nakal asyik membising....budak-budak camnilah mak....mak bayangkan seharian i duk cam ni kat rumah....depa pi sekolah rasa aman sikit. Lepas balik, memang hiruk pikuk. Ini baru 2 budak, kalau lebih taktaula kan...sebab stress i dah jerit2 kat budak suh diam, Kesian pula depa nak main aci ligan ja....ada space besaq boleh lari. Kat sana sempit nak lari pun 5 langkah ja dapat....
cik baby pula ntah kenapa nangis ja...takmau susu dah bengkak dah ni....sigh. Ntahlah....nak balik la esok...laki takdak....bosannya takda pakar rujuk.

I over sensitip kowt....

Dalam banyak2 adik bradik akulah yang paling.....orang lain semua success. Aku jer cam ni...sob2. Dahla beb...i sensitip kot semenjak jaga anak sensorang ni....letih kot tapi sapalah i nak ngaku i letih i kan ouswipe saja....tak layak nak letih kan kan kan? huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.................