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Yes...i m down ...again

I don't know...i feel like i am not a successful person as compared to my friends and siblings...
sedih....bisnes pun macam tahi ayam piru bertelur lima.
i decided to let go one of them la. ease off my burden. tomorrow will email buyer tengok sesapa nak beli stok.

Sometimes i wonder...whether i have made the right decision in my life... for my life. we live only once...no more.
Now, i donno what to do with my life.
I have no car, house...biznes going nowhere.
Nak kerja makan gaji balik? well i m 33 years old. who wants to hire?

Called my mom...telling her that i think i am sinking. biz is down. the location is terrible. if not for my mom's money, i will never survive...there.

Mom is staying my my little sister. She is pursuing her studies so mom takes care of her children while she's away. Normally she has to attend night classes.

Mak kata: pi ambil pHd. then apply jadi lecturer...
Aku kata, camner nak ambil pHd? Sapa nak jaga anak saya? husband saya tak suka saya hantaq pi pengasuh ke hapa...dia tak peduli apa saya nak, dia nak anak dia terjaga...bukan dia jelah, aku pun tak suka hantaq pengasuh...macam-macam kes nanti. So, itulah dilemanya...macam my sisterlah. She has my mom helping her. I have no one. I would never ask my mom to take care of my children...no way! Never!
Lagipun malas..i don't want to go study anymore...it is a commitment i cannot give.

I told her, I am stuck here...I am drowning...The only way to succeed is succeed in my main biz, CnD.
Takpelah...this down down feeling will end soon. But I really decided to let go JSB baby. Sorry...I tried. Hopefully ada buyer...Kalau takder...jual jelah harga borong sampai habis.

Nak kerja balik is out of question...I tak sampai hati tinggalkan anak-anak seharian. I cannot afford to do that. Biarlah aku berkorban. Takpe...

Comments

  1. Errr...seriously..mcm sama kes ja kita ni..mak aku pun asyik push either phd or keja.. hati ni berat dah nak buat both..aritu konon nak mtk keja but hangat2 taik ayam piru hg ja hehhehe

    skg ni ahmad dok push nak menega smpi dpt kedai n pakai 2 van..aku dlm hati, 'abih la duit makbaba aku pehni' sbb slalu dah jadi camni..tp nak buek camno dah ni pilihan hati (padan la muka aku nooo hahahahah)

    takpa la azza..sat ja kot down ni..nnt up la blk insya allah :D caiyok2!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nak keja apanya...takkan nak masuk lab balik...kalau nak lecture pun, org len start lecture umur 24-27...dah lewat walaupun its never too late kate orang. Amik phd ingat senang...dulu muda oklah. Lani...susah la. Kita pempuan byak hal nak pikir. Org laki takpe pikir diri sendiri jer...kan?...taktau la anis. Sedih tau. Orang len meeting sana sini, travel sana sini...jales. tapi kita kena bersyukur kita dapat jaga anak sendiri...feelin down ni mungkin 2 minggu ni. Lepas tu ok lah.

    ReplyDelete

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