Mudahnya untuk kehilangan...

anak anak ku setiap hari mesti ada waktu galak. maksudnya main tuk release energy. amatla bermain dan akan lupa diri. akhirnya salah sorang akan menangis. yeay!
time masa galak ni aku memang malas nak duduk dekat sebab ...banyak sebab. tadi sebab dah lama tak bagi vitamin kat adik, so offerlah vitamin kat dia. harapannya reda sikit kot galak main tu. tetiba si adam pun nak vitamin....selalu dia reject benda berbentuk ubat. dan mereka teruskan aktiviti. lari, gelak, golek, lompat...u name it. tetiba adam batuk, macam tercekik, cuak aku tengok. eh dia makan apa? ayah terus tepuk belakang kuat giloss, takut aku tengok. then baru teringat...vitamin tadi. suruh dia minum banyak banyak...kan dah menangis, dapat tanda merah kat belakang lagi...ish, takutnya aku. anything can happen in a blink on an eye...remember, do not give them any treats during galak time. dangerous.

Second kitten died

Well, this morning, he was okay. Evening ------> dead.
Makes me sad.
Heard him meawing...its hurt to die. Every last breath must be like hell.
I just could not watch him go. Just like his sister (which I did saw the moment).
Just after a week...why? I asked Allah?
I hope to see them in heaven. Pray for me...for taking care of you two this one month.
I adjusted my routine just to feed you guys. \
Now, seeing that empty cage really sucks.
Miss your cry in the middle of the night.
I dreamed that both of you already grew...so beautiful.
Now, back to old routine.
No more rushing back home to feed the kittens.

Hubby said: Please no more.
I guess that small kittens never gonna survive without their mom's antibody. Damn right.
Damn that person...DAMN YOU. KILLER!!! Are you satisfied now? Moron.

Well, I tried my best. Thought this one gonna make it coz he was the stronger one. But I could feel that he was going weaker after his sister gone. Or, maybe coz Adam held him to tight? I donno...
I just feel like...' confuse, sad, terkilan...'

Sedih

Petang ni rasa sedih dan pilu...mana taknya, salah sekor baby cat yang aku rescue haritu macam nak mati. Sebab ni lah malas nak adopt ni. Satgi mati sedih. Walaupun baru jer...but still. i am feeding her like crazy...day and night. Kenapa? Apa pun ku reda dengan ketentuan-NYA. Semoga baby cat maafkan dosaku. Mungkin tersalah bagi makan. Tak cukup makan...lain-lain sebab. Sedih....

Second session

The session was yesterday. Well, really want to wrote yesterday but Adelina kept waking up so had to care for her...she is teething again, very fussssy, doesn't want to eat anything, really skinny now. 

I was very sleepy during the session coz slept late and not enuf sleep the night before. He just sat at the table for a short time and got distracted by other toys in the room. The therapist is a pro, I was worry coz Adam could not sit still. Then he would make his own word and noise. Nothing much, she just wanted to know Adam's level. Not Ms Ohh. She asked about colors, action words, animals, numbers. Adam was more interested in the toys instead of answering her...But when we waited then he would answer. She said that we have to be firm so that Adam will obey. No yelling or high pitch voice. Everyday is a therapy. Keep talking to Adam. At the mall, during driving, having lunch...(but sometimes Adam just scream at me whenever I ask him...what is this, that is what....) coz he is not in the mood to learn.

Sigh....Adam, mama really hope that you can be a good boy. Forgive me for everything. I love you...Now, he is talking and asking me question. Sometimes it feels annoying, but just layan...whenever ayah says bising la. I would remind ayah. He is in this too. I cannot do this alone. I cannot afford to give up. God, help me.

Aku kecewa

Day of frustration...even feeling it right now. Frustnya.

Pagi-pagi dah masak bekal bawak ke kedai, nak makan. Keluar keter simpan botol susu adik dalam plastik beg yang ada bekal tadi. Masuk dalam kedai....susu tadi tumpah. Kena samsung galaxy kesayangan. Kalut. Terus keluarkan plastik yang ada bekal, tiba-tiba tudung terbuka dan tertumpah atas lantai....S***. Come ON!!!

Bungkus order...takut barang rosak sebab kotak tak sesuai. Selalunya kalau ada guts ni mesti barang rosak. Nanti customer call marah-marah nak barang diganti. Hmm...just cross my finger. 

Nak balik...masa tengah angkut barang, kak cleaner ajak tengok baby cat kena buang kat pasar basah. Malas nak ikut sebab nanti kesian...Dah sudah kesian. Bahlul mana buang baby cat baru lahir situ...mesti mati kelaparan. Si Ibu pasti meroyan sebab dipisahkan terlalu awal. Kau...si pembuang anak kucing ni memang pembunuh nyawa. Semoga Allah membalasnya di dunia ni...ke kat akhirat sana. 

Bawak balik pulak kucing lagi 2 ekor. Semalam rescue sekor....Malam ni nak letak iklan di Mudah. Sapalah nak adopt ni. Payah la nak cari....menyesal tengok tadi. Kalau tak tengok takpe...sebab tak tahu.

Kecewa lagi dirumah...dengan Adam's attitude...ayah lagi suka buat aku end up in frustration. Kadang-kadang...sangat kecewa. 

Oklah, I need to clean the house, wash dirty cd, give baby cats milk...lap lantai...buat teh panas, libas tablet, masukkan iklan di Mudah, read at Kobo, sleep....(I dah Isyak awal tadi).

Aktiviti untuk Adam di rumah

Okay...haritu lepas balik dari assessment speech therapy tu,  aku punya la surf the net. Nak cari action flash card...takde yang aku nak (free & gambar action jelas). Semua kena bayaq.

So, weekend haritu ingat nak ajak ayah gi ke kedai educational toys kat BM. Tapi bila fikir balik, I can make it my own. What I did is, print all the coloring pictures (free from the net), that have action like swimming, dancing, walking...etc. Adam loves to color. So, everyday, I have to explain to him about the pix he's coloring. Keep it and revise it another time. Untuk perbandingan lak, aku kumpul toys yang berselerak tu, objek kecil dan besar...esok start differentiate the object. 

Ada juga flash card 'action' ni di Tesco. Okay la. Boleh guna. Ada satu mainan potong buah di Tesco, sama cam di kelas therapy...ambil gak. RM10 saja. Kena berjimatla. Therapy session is expensive. 

Nampak set dapur mainan kaler pink...teringin nak beli kat adik. Tunggu besday mama belikan kat adik...mama simpan $$$ dulu ni. Nak beli Brillkids lagi. Kesian adik, bila dapat komputer mama, adik asyik click kat icon Brillkids...sedih lak tengok. 

Buku Bacalah Anakku, Adam dah kenal a, i, u. Na, ni , nu dia confuse... b kenal. Dia ni cepat boring so, lambat la. Alternatif...aku tulis semua bunyi tu dalam tablet kesayangan ku...samsung tablet. So, bila ada masa je aku libas-libas la bunyi-bunyi tu. Dia pun dah pandai tulis...ni, nu...na (belum lagi).

Ya Allah, terangilah hati anak-anakku Adam dan Adelina...untuk mudah, cepat dan minat belajar. Amin,

Speech Therapy - assestment

Hari yang ditunggu telah tiba, nyaris batalkan appointment coz supplier katanya nak hantar stok harini, tapi pagi tadi dia tak confirm boleh datang so proceed with the therapy. Glad...selesai satu urusan yang bersarang di dada kami sejak begitu lama. 

Therapist namanya Ms Ohh. Tempat tu letaknya di residential area..Island Glades. Masa sampai ayah macam tak suka sebab lokasi macam tak best. tapi aku kata Dr. Lim yang refer kita tengok dulu kalau tak best kita pi yang satu lagi...kat Loh Guan Lye.

Pacific speech therapy ni, kalau tak pakai gps tak jumpa kot...ingatkan kat shop lot.

Okay, masuk terus dia bawa ke therapy room, banyak mainan! apa lagi raya hindu la budak dua orang ni. Then macam macamlah dia tanya Adam, warna, binatang, suruh susun, suruh ambil, dia bagi flash card then dia tanya what are they doing, differences kecil besar, puzzle...tu je yang aku ingat. Adam ni dia cepat bosan, but he can play, warna tadi dia jawab tak betul but i know he knew colors, puzzle lulus cemerlang sebab dia suka main susun susun, flash card doing tu ....dia just sebut object saja. action tak tahu. Eye contact ada..thank god! since ms. Ohh tu specialist so dia tau cara berinteraksi dengan kanak-kanak bermasalah.

According to ms. Ohh, Adam is not autistic (Thank YOU ALLAH!!!) He is just in the border of being hyperactive and normal. So, it is difficult for him to pay attention. He's not listening and thus causing him this speech problem. He is in the range of 2-2.6 year old (in term of speech development). So, he needs a one-to-one session. Kindy is not for him thus my decision to take him out of kindy is a good decision. 

He needs to come for therapy...maybe 6 months to 1 year. Depend on his development. If he is fast to pick up the pieces, he will be discharged early. The fee: RM75/hour however ada discount...rabaklah ayah...

Me, she gave us homework, ada 3 benda iaitu:

1. Arahkan dia buat sesuatu (listening skill). Jangan tunjuk. No gestures. Eg Adam, please color the eye red.

2. Doing what. Action words. Dia buat apa? Dia main layang-layang. 

3. Imitate. What is mama doing? Mama is cooking. Then tanya: Mama is..........?

Lagi 2 weeks, we will go to the session again. 1 hour session.